You Raise Me Up
by coinoperatedbecca
Summary: Jem thinks about his father's impact on his life, and events that happened that changed his view on life during his childhood.


I don't own To Kill A Mockingbird or any of the characters, and I don't own 'You Raise Me Up' which is sung by the AMAZING Josh Groban.

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_When I am down and oh my soul so weary _

_When troubles come and my heart burdened be _

_Then I am still and wait here in the silence _

_Until you come and sit awhile with me _

My father was the type of man who was looked up to by some because of the actions that he preformed, and I must say that there is no one like him. My father was always kind, we could always hear him address a lady as 'Miss' or 'Mrs.', he would help them with any problems they were having, and he was always a benefactor to all in the town, even the people that were looked down upon by society. He taught me the most important lessons life has, and what made me admire him even more was his courage.

Now, my father didn't do too much when I was younger for he was too old to play tackle football or whatever game I wanted him to play with me. When I was a mere child I didn't understand that, but then as I grew I realized that he was the only father that I ever would have and if something bad happened to him while he was playing with me I'd never be the same again, because if he did do those activities with me and got seriously injured it would've been all my fault.

As I think about those times more, the guiltier I feel. I was always pushing and pushing him to play tackle football instead of touch, and to play for the Methodists. It seemed as though those were the only things I cared about when I was a young, naïve boy.

_You raise me up so I can stand on mountains _

_You raise me up to walk on stormy seas _

_I am strong when I am on your shoulders _

_You raise me up to more than I can be _

I remember when my father decided to take Tom Robinson's case, he firmly believed that he was innocent, and he wanted to prove to the town that the Ewell's were just lying so they could get more attention. It seems just like yesterday when we were all at Aunt Alexandra's house and Scout got in that horrible fight with Francis because he was saying all of those bad things about Atticus. If I were Scout I would've killed Francis for saying those things, heck, I would even kill Aunt Alexandra for filling that fool's head with those ideas.

As my life progressed I began to realize that everything in Maycomb wasn't as just and innocent as I believed it to be, I began to loose friends because of what Atticus was fighting for, and at first it had a great impact on me, but after a while I didn't care anymore. Then there was Mrs. Dubose, and I have to admit that I have learned many important lessons; one of which being that the life that I once knew wasn't the same, there was many lies hidden from my sister and me. I was eager to find out the truth.

After the incident with Mrs. Dubose I was oddly distant and aloof, I guess that was the mixture between hormones and finding out something so important about someone you weren't really fond of.

My life went on, Scout and mine's fascination with Boo Radley grew, but no matter hard we tried he would never come out. I can not count how many times Atticus told the two of us to stop tormenting the poor people, but we couldn't help but to try to get Boo to come out just once.

_There is no life no life without it's hunger _

_Each restless heart beat so imperfectly _

_But when you come and I am filled with wonder _

_Sometimes I think I glimpse eternity_

I remember when Atticus had to go watch Tom Robinson at the jail because he was at risk getting killed by mobs such as Walter Cunningham's. Scout and I showed up, I didn't move, I just stayed by Atticus's side no matter how many times he told me to take Scout and go. But I wasn't going to let them hurt my father and the man that he was defending. I was relieved when Scout started to make small-talk with Mr. Cunningham, reminding him of the things that Atticus did for him, soon enough they all snapped back to reality and went home.

And then came the trail, Scout, Dill, and I snuck in and we sat with Reverend Skyes, I watched the witnesses answer the questions that were being thrown at them by Atticus, and I watched Mayella Ewell testify, and right away I knew that something wasn't right. After Mayella screamed that they were all 'yellow-stinking cowards.' it was Tom Robinson's turn to be asked questions, after a few minutes Scout had to take Dill out of the courtroom because Dill got upset about the way that everyone (well everyone except Atticus) was treating Tom. After a while they came back, and after what seemed to be forever Cal came to tell Atticus that we weren't home.

Atticus said that we could come back to the trail after dinner because while we ate the jury were deciding if Tom was guilty or not, but I knew he wasn't guilty. Everyone knew he wasn't guilty, but because of the color of his skin the people of Maycomb didn't care.

After dinner we rushed back to the courtroom, and the jury was still discussing their thoughts amongst each other, so we sat there, waiting for the results of the trail. When they announced Tom guilty, it was then my turn to cry. We watched Atticus leave, and after Reverend Skyes woke Scout up we followed him.

Only a few days later, Atticus had received gifts from Tom's family, and I could never forget the gleam in Atticus's eyes. This action made him more motivated to get an appeal. Sadly, Tom was shot before they could even get another chance to go back to court, Dill and I were in Atticus's car when he went to go tell Tom's wife that her husband was now dead because he was sick because of the way we were treating him.

_You raise me up so I can stand on mountains _

_You raise me up to walk on stormy seas _

_I am strong when I am on your shoulders _

_You raise me up to more than I can be _

Life after the trial was slowly going back to the way it used to be, but deep down inside I knew that it would never actually be the same, but I would always have that feeling of safety that I always had because I had Atticus, and when Atticus was there it was like nothing could hurt me at all, and emotionally I was, but physically I wasn't.

In the October following the trial Scout and I were attacked by Bob Ewell, and before I fell I realized what he had said, he was going to get Atticus even if it took him the rest of his life, and even though I was in danger I felt safe because I had a feeling that Atticus would be there soon.

Luckily, Scout wasn't hurt bad, just a bit shaken up. But my arm was broken and I had a gash on my face, but that didn't matter, after a few months I was able to play football again, back then that was the most important thing in my life, well except for meeting Boo Radly.

I remember that when I woke up Scout was going on and on about how she met Boo, and I remember how upset I was because I wasn't well enough to see him, that whole day was full of questions about what he was like.

Soon after that incident, Atticus retired, he said that he was too old to be getting caught up into trials, so he was home waiting for us every single day after school.

I finished school a couple years after the events of the trial, and I won a football scholarship, but I declined it and applied to Harvard School of Law. A few months later I got a letter saying that I was accepted. I was going to be a lawyer just like Atticus, the man who always saw what was right and what was wrong. I could only hope that I'd be a great lawyer just like him.

Halfway into my last year of Harvard, Atticus died in his sleep, Scout had come to Harvard herself. Right when she came I could tell that something was wrong, and only moments later the two of us were mourning the loss of our father.

It's been five years since his death, and I'm still living in Maycomb County, I got married and I have two children, and I now work at the same courthouse my father worked at, and I know that I could never be as great as him, but I still have his guidance to help me make it through tough times in my life. I think about him everyday, and sometimes I can even see him sitting in his chair reading the newspaper. I know that I will never forget him, and every time I get myself worked up about his death all I have to do is tell my self that he is in heaven with Momma, and in a while I'd be with them, too.

_You raise me up so I can stand on mountains _

_You raise me up to walk on stormy seas _

_I am strong when I am on your shoulders _

_You raise me up to more than I can be…_


End file.
